How to tell your Partner(s) you have an STD

Apicha Community Health Center Jun 11, 2018  

Apicha CHC

Talking about STDs is not always an easy conversation to have, especially with your partner. Whatever the situation or circumstance (of which there are many), it’s important to share with your partner(s) that you have an STD. In this blog, we’re going to talk you through some best practices on how to do that.

Tips for Telling your Partner(s) about an STD/STI
  • Get tested: Before you talk with partner, be certain that you have an STD, and as well as the one you think you have. Without being tested, you can’t be 100% sure that you actually have an STD, as well as which one. Many STDs are treatable, so it’s important you’re able to share that information with your partner. The more you know, the better. So make sure you get tested.
  • Do it in person: Avoid having this conversation via text, email, or social media. That might sound like a no-brainer, but having a face-to-face conversation will benefit you both, and send the message this is an important issue to you, and one you respect your partner enough to disucss in person.
  • Pick the right environment: It’s best to have this discussion in a quiet and calm place, where the two of you can talk in a private manner.
  • Be direct: When it comes to talking about STDs, being clear and concise is best. You don’t want to beat around the bush, so be as forward as you can. Make sure you tell them you have an STD and which one it is. It may sound hard, but it is the clearest way to tell your partner.
  • Don’t wait: It might be hard to tell your partner about an STD diagnosis, especially right away. However, having a conversation sooner than later is better in the long wrong. From there, you can both move forward in the best way possible for yourselves and your relationship.
  • Be honest: There is still a strong stigma surrounding STDs, so for some folks, coming forward about having one is hard. There is a lot of fear, shame, and embarrassment when talking about STDs. But, it’s better to tell the truth. For the health of your partner – who may unknowingly contract the STD you have – you should be honest.
  • Let the conversation flow naturally: After you tell your partner, be ready to listen. They may have a lot of questions, and each person reacts differently. Some people might be scared, upset, or be full of questions.
  • Try not to get defensive: Talking about STDs can be tough with partners, and tensions can rise. Questions like infidelity and honesty come up, and it’s easy to get upset. Try your best to focus on the issue directly at hand (and you can tackle rest later).
  • Give them time: Your partner may need some time to process and think. Let them. It’s important you give them the space they need.

If you haven’t been tested already, be sure to get tested. Your partner should also get tested as well. Additionally, make sure you are on treatment for your STD, if treatable.

How Apicha CHC can Help you

Apicha CHC offers walk-in STD testing and screening. We also offer treatment and consultation services for STDs, including HIV/AIDS. You can schedule an appointment here.

Apicha Community Health Center | LGBT Health Center in NYC


Ready to take action about your health?
 request an appointment

Subscribe For Updates

Early Signs of HIV

Early Signs of HIV

Early HIV is the beginning stage of HIV disease, right after HIV infection occurs. If you were not...
Transgender Sexual Health Guide: Safer Sex

Transgender Sexual Health Guide: Safer Sex

When it comes to sex, there’s a serious lack of resources available to transgender people that...
What you need to know about PrEP, the HIV Prevention Pill

What you need to know about PrEP, the HIV Prevention Pill

  What You Need to Know About PrEP PrEP or pre-exposure prophylaxis, the HIV prevention pill, has...
Using Hook-Up Apps in 2017: Emotional Health

Using Hook-Up Apps in 2017: Emotional Health

"Using Hook-up Apps in 2017" is a series addressing issues of safety, racism, and emotional health....
PrEP and Vacation: Best Practices for Staying on top of Your PrEP

PrEP and Vacation: Best Practices for Staying on top of Your PrEP

Before you know it, summer will be here (it kind of already is). That means vacation and traveling!...
Attention: Important Notice for SNAP Recipients About Your February Benefits

Attention: Important Notice for SNAP Recipients About Your February Benefits

Because of the federal government shutdown, most SNAP recipients will receive their February SNAP...
New York Passes Historic GENDA Legislation Protecting Transgender Community

New York Passes Historic GENDA Legislation Protecting Transgender Community

This week, the New York legislature passed historic transgender anti-discrimination law. Commonly...
Governor Cuomo Announces Proposal to Raise Tobacco & E-Cigarette Sales Age

Governor Cuomo Announces Proposal to Raise Tobacco & E-Cigarette Sales Age

Governor Andrew M. Cuomo announced a proposal to raise the minimum sales age for tobacco and...
Mayor de Blasio Announces Plan to Guarantee Health Care for all New Yorkers

Mayor de Blasio Announces Plan to Guarantee Health Care for all New Yorkers

Mayor Bill de Blasio announced his administration will launch the largest, most comprehensive plan...
Substance Abuse 101: Marijuana

Substance Abuse 101: Marijuana

Marijuana is another substance that is commonly abused. Although some states have legalized its...