How to tell your Partner(s) you have an STD

Apicha Community Health Center Jun 11, 2018  

Apicha CHC

Talking about STDs is not always an easy conversation to have, especially with your partner. Whatever the situation or circumstance (of which there are many), it’s important to share with your partner(s) that you have an STD. In this blog, we’re going to talk you through some best practices on how to do that.

Tips for Telling your Partner(s) about an STD/STI
  • Get tested: Before you talk with partner, be certain that you have an STD, and as well as the one you think you have. Without being tested, you can’t be 100% sure that you actually have an STD, as well as which one. Many STDs are treatable, so it’s important you’re able to share that information with your partner. The more you know, the better. So make sure you get tested.
  • Do it in person: Avoid having this conversation via text, email, or social media. That might sound like a no-brainer, but having a face-to-face conversation will benefit you both, and send the message this is an important issue to you, and one you respect your partner enough to disucss in person.
  • Pick the right environment: It’s best to have this discussion in a quiet and calm place, where the two of you can talk in a private manner.
  • Be direct: When it comes to talking about STDs, being clear and concise is best. You don’t want to beat around the bush, so be as forward as you can. Make sure you tell them you have an STD and which one it is. It may sound hard, but it is the clearest way to tell your partner.
  • Don’t wait: It might be hard to tell your partner about an STD diagnosis, especially right away. However, having a conversation sooner than later is better in the long wrong. From there, you can both move forward in the best way possible for yourselves and your relationship.
  • Be honest: There is still a strong stigma surrounding STDs, so for some folks, coming forward about having one is hard. There is a lot of fear, shame, and embarrassment when talking about STDs. But, it’s better to tell the truth. For the health of your partner – who may unknowingly contract the STD you have – you should be honest.
  • Let the conversation flow naturally: After you tell your partner, be ready to listen. They may have a lot of questions, and each person reacts differently. Some people might be scared, upset, or be full of questions.
  • Try not to get defensive: Talking about STDs can be tough with partners, and tensions can rise. Questions like infidelity and honesty come up, and it’s easy to get upset. Try your best to focus on the issue directly at hand (and you can tackle rest later).
  • Give them time: Your partner may need some time to process and think. Let them. It’s important you give them the space they need.

If you haven’t been tested already, be sure to get tested. Your partner should also get tested as well. Additionally, make sure you are on treatment for your STD, if treatable.

How Apicha CHC can Help you

Apicha CHC offers walk-in STD testing and screening. We also offer treatment and consultation services for STDs, including HIV/AIDS. You can schedule an appointment here.

Apicha Community Health Center | LGBT Health Center in NYC


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